Hiccups in the Library
Milo got the hiccups in the quietest place in the world.
The library.
"Hic," went Milo.
Everybody in the whole library looked up at once.
Milo did not want to be the boy who got sent outside.
Milo's mom leaned over and whispered something into his ear.
"Hold your breath," whispered Mom, "and count to ten."
Milo held his breath and counted all the way to ten.
"HIC," went Milo.
That one was much bigger than the first one.
A man with a newspaper leaned across from the next table.
"Bend right over the cup," he whispered, "and drink from the far side of it."
Milo tried it, and most of the water went down his front.
"HIC!" went Milo.
That one was big enough to move a book.
Then a very old lady in the corner put down her knitting.
"What you need," she whispered, "is a terrible fright."
She said, "Boo," very quietly.
It was the politest boo Milo had ever heard.
"HICCUP!" went Milo.
Somewhere behind the shelves, something fell over with a soft flump.
Milo slid down in his chair and put his hands over his face.
The librarian came around the end of the shelf. She was tall, and she had a pencil in her hair.
Milo shut his eyes and waited to be sent outside.
But the librarian crouched down beside his chair.
"Milo," she said, "how many teeth does a snail have?"
Milo opened his mouth to answer, and nothing at all came out.
He thought about snails, and about the mouths of snails, for a long time.
"Ten?" said Milo.
"Thousands," said the librarian. "Tiny ones, all in rows."
And that was when Milo noticed something.
The hiccups had gone. They had gone somewhere in the middle of the snails.
"Thank you," whispered Milo.
"You are welcome," whispered the librarian.
"Hic," went the librarian.
She put her hand over her mouth, and her eyes went very wide.
"Hold your breath," whispered Milo, "and count to ten."
And all around them, in the quietest place in the world, everybody tried not to laugh.
Nobody quite managed it.
